Monday, May 11, 2009

Denial and Distraction

I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be feeling right now. Excitement? Some. Sadness? Yeah. Underlying panic that may bubble to the surface at any moment and cause me to say words that I don't normally say? Definitely.

But mostly I feel...normal. Like this is just life. Like I know it's a big deal but no matter how hard I try I can't get my mind wrapped around the big deal that it is, so I'm just normal. We need to sort more and start packing, confirm shipping prices, etc. We need to actually start giving away all the stuff that we've promised to other people. We need to figure out a plan of action (car, place to stay, etc.) once we're in Memphis. It's not that I'm ignoring it--completely. It's just that I may be in denial that this is actually happening--and soon. And there is plenty to distract me.

•Exhibit One: Battlestar Galactica
Christine introduced us to this lovely show a few months ago and we have devoured it all. We just finished the end of the last season. It was such a nice escape into a completely alternate reality, and to lay our little problems down to worry instead about cylon human relations, war, peace, and the survival of the human race. That's done now, one distraction gone.

•Exhibit Two: Harry Potter
Harry Potter is my escape default. Completely different universe. Seven whole books, a great plot, and good wins over evil. I'm on book seven for the who knows how manyeth time, so that distraction is about to be done too.

•Exhibit Three: Figuring out what the heck to eat
I can't eat gluten anymore. I started getting migraines several months ago, digestive stuff, etc. Basta decir que the doctor has tested me for Celiac Disease (I get the results back in a week), and I'm not eating gluten. I feel sooooo much better until I accidentally eat gluten, and then I'm way sicker than I was before. Super sensitive. Anyway, trying to figure out what the heck I can eat and where the heck I can eat and what the heck that I ate on Friday made me sick for two days takes up lots of time! Not the most fun distraction, but a great one. I'm really thankful for finding this out before the move, though. It will be much easier to start out with a gluten free kitchen than to have to go back and change things!

Most of my down time is spent chilling with Paul, reading Harry Potter, or researching Celiac things for Madrid and Memphis. We're going over to friends' houses who are cooking us lovely dinners. We're hanging out with people as much as possible. My brain can't hold anymore.

So with all this going on is it ok to feel this normal? Good even? Is it all going to come crashing down around me, or am I really this tough. I'm hoping the latter.

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